It’s been just over three months since I started my new job and new life. I say new life because it is true — my (and H.’s) whole life has changed. I work 328km away from where I live, and spent 4-5 days a week in the north of England, 2 days a week in London. I have become a “valued frequent traveller,” according to Virgin Trains. You can say that again.
Academic roles are scarce. My job-hunting strategy back in the summer and fall was to apply for anything that looked like it might work. It’s a year-long contract, and I have no idea whether it will be extended. Given that uncertainty, it didn’t make sense for us to move as a couple.
This new life brings a lot of challenges, many of which haven’t even fully sunk in yet, since the job was so intense until the end of March (a “baptism of fire,” as my colleagues keep saying) that I am only really actually having a chance to process these changes now.
The biggest one I have noticed recently is that I don’t really live anywhere. I feel in perpetual limbo. I am not able to participate in anything that made me feel integrated into my “previous” London life — volunteering, attending events, regular meetups with friends. It’s more or less the same in Liverpool, though I am trying to change that now that my schedule is easing up a bit. I calculated that the longest period I will spend sleeping in one place for the whole of 2017 (including the summer) is 8 nights, which was at the beginning of April.
It takes an immense amount of planning and organization to live this life. Train booking (well in advance), packing twice a week, making sure I am constantly “on it.” Anyone who knows me knows organization is one of my strengths, but this kind of organization requires constant precision and accuracy. Forgot to book a train? Yup, that happened once. Pay £80 two hours before. Forgot to send yourself an important document that has a tight deadline? Yup, start again from scratch. Don’t have the right shoes/sweater/tights in the city you happening to be in? Improvise.
There are good things about this new life. I have made some fantastic friends. I’m in a challenging role and I am learning a lot. I have gotten to know a new city that I like. I can walk to work (after years of London commuting this feels like luxury). It is very hard being away from H. — we have lived together for over seven years — and the goodbyes are difficult, but they make the reunions that much sweeter.
And so, like with any big life change, my cooking and meals have changed dramatically. I hope to share that more over the next few months.